is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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