great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
