i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
