just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
