After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
