it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
