dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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