actually, I'm a sock model
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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