The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
