Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
