Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
