THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
