Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
