I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
