you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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