I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
