I hope mine doesn't look like that
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
