I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you never un-have a 4some
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