The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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