Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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