Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
