We need to rekindle our bromance
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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