actually, I'm a sock model
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
