I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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