A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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