i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
