Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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