He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
