he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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