Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
