Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
