Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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