Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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