I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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