I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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