he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
