I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
