Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
