I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
