I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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