they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I could fuck to npr.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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