He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
