margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
