I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
