oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
