Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
