i may or may not be watching the land before time
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
