Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
