i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
