Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
