his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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